


Wow

by orphan_account



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Canon-Typical Violence, Drunk Sex, Humor, M/M, Shorts, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 12:34:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15995327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Very short thing I wrote for my new tumblr atfcable. Yes, I'm high and drunk *squinty thumbs up*





	Wow

Wade was  _seductively_  twirling open the bottle cap of the whiskey, because apparently only he could look foolish and swave all at once. Apparently he had robbed a liquor store with a paper clip.

Yeah, the cashier laughed too. Until he lost an eye. Or both.

All this to hit the bare minimum of buzzed. Because he had a stupider than usual idea he needed to execute. Wade figured that five, eight hundred gallons and two alcohol poisoning’s later he could be wasted enough to march up to Cable and French him like it was the last thing he’d ever do.

Because it likely was.

Only it  _wasn’t_. Ohmyfuckadoodledoo it wasn’t the last thing he did.

In fact he got to kiss Cable some more. And more. And  _more_!!

Wade snapped his thumb backwards to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He wasn’t. Also, Cable wasn’t his real name? Lame. His not-an-anti-hero-not-a-super-hero name was Nate.

 _Nate_. Can you believe that? What kind of pussy is named Nate? Except.

Except… This Nate was like an IRL literal pussy because he was  _awesome_. Strong enough to squeeze a watermelon baby through a hole that has no business squeezing a watermelon baby! Badass. Irresistible.

Yep, Nate was a pussy alright.

A pussy currently tongue deep in Wade’s asshole. And wow.  _Wow_. Nate is good with his tongue for someone who speaks mainly in grunts.

Future man was chalk full of surprises apparently.

“Oh god oh god oh GOD  _please_  replace that with your dick I’m literally begging.” Wade chocked, his voice was broken and his breath hitched, he was a mess and he was loving it.

And Cable- Nate, the  _asshole_ , shoved his tongue in deeper and full on motorboat’ed his asscheeks.

Not. Fair.

Because Wade came right then and there and when he was spent and  _sensitive_ , Nate pulled back only to nudge his quivering hole with his cockhead, and then,  _and then_ -! he had the audacity to push in and Wade all but wailed because it was too much! Too much! Not enough at all!!!!

Nate wasn’t gentle at all but he was simultaneously hitting every kink Wade had in effortless stride and ohgodohgod Wade was getting hard again.

“Nugh! I hate you so much!” It came off as “I love you so fucking much…” though.

Nate was rocking into him, bordering on gentle and no where near hard enough. But Wade was too turned on to complain, his cock was still leaking pitifully.

It lasted forever and  _not long enough at all_ and Nate came undone so fast Wade forgot to, he couldn’t miss a sound, a sight, an ounce of Nate’s hips stuttering and his O face releasing the manliest, sultriest gasp as he came ballsdeep inside him and Wade froze, he downright froze because that was the hottest thing he’s seen in years and it was like his brain orgasmed before his body and that was a religious experience if there was such a thing.

And there was. There really really was. In the form of Nathan “Cable” Summers gripping his hips, pushing into his ass, and kissing along his spine.

Hot.

It felt like forever for his dick to catch up and sputter its own prayer of thanks.

Drunk sex was the  _best_.

**Author's Note:**

> Very short thing I wrote for my new tumblr atfcable. Yes, I'm high and drunk *squinty thumbs up*


End file.
